i know i complain about this incessantly, but the majority of people in NYC cannot handle any form of moisture. if it’s a light mist they consider it a hurricane. umbrellas are out if there’s even a smell of moisture in the air. an umbrella handling class should be required especially by bankers in midtown. there should be a class at the learning annex…and midtown bankers/assistants should be required to take the class.. once the have attended and passed the test they should be given an umbrella card. this card permits them to purchase an umbrella. if one does not have an umbrella card then one is not allowed to use or purchase an umbrella. anyone caught handling an umbrella without an umbrella card will be given a $100 ticket.
if i run into one more banker-esque fool with their over sized, unnecessary golf umbrella, who is texting, not paying attention, and just being a dick — i will knock you down and break your umbrella. i am OVER it. my book, umbrella handling for dummies, is also in the works.
with all of this in mind - i have decided that the picture below is how i need to look at it and the world: